How to Know If You Have a Problem With Social Media

Question: Please help me understand the spectrum of appropriate use of social media for an 18-year-old who finds it helpful but also wonders if it may harm his mental health. He is not sure if it is harming his mental health but wants to know how he can check this and what signs he should look for beyond the classical symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Answer: Thank you for this question. Determining if you have an unhealthy relationship with social media (or any technology) can be tricky! Our previous portal responses go into greater detail about what problematic technology use looks like and ways to prevent problematic technology use. This resource on the good and bad of social media may also be helpful background on the impact of social media on kids and teens.  

Here are some questions that you can ask yourself (or ask someone in your care), to know whether your relationship with social media (or any technology) is healthy:

• Are you sleeping OK?
• Are you getting work or schoolwork done without problems?
• Are you getting time during the day for other leisure activities you care about, like outdoors, reading, etc?
• Do you enjoy spending time with friends or family?
• Do you have other coping skills for managing negative feelings, other than going to social media?

→ If the answers are YES, then social media doesn’t seem to be getting in the way of daily functioning.

Then think about your social media experiences:

• Are you having relationship difficulties or conflicts through social media, or is anyone harassing you?
• Are you seeing things on social media that are stressing you out, and is this making you anxious or angry at other times of day?
• Are you consuming content that is overtly negative, hostile, or fear-inducing?
• Are you spending a lot of money on social media, online shopping, or video games?
• Do you feel like you are using social media compulsively, in a way that’s out of your control? That is, how much of your time on social media feels aligned with your values, or the person you want to be; and how much of it feels like the time was stolen from you, or wasted? 

→ If the answers are NO, then it does not seem like you are having risky or problematic behaviors on social media. 

If you’re not sure, you can try looking at your Screen Time output on your phone, to see how much time you spend on different social media apps. You can also look at the number of pickups you have on an average day, and which app you use first after picking up your phone. Consider whether the amount of time and types of apps you are using fit your own goals and priorities. You can try some experiments, like turning off notifications from social media or downtime settings, to see if those help you feel more balanced.

There’s a wide spectrum of what “healthy” looks like among social media users, so it’s not something we can define based on a particular number of hours. It’s also important to know that the mix of negative and positive experiences on social media vary at different times of life – it can accentuate the negative things you’re going through (think of doomscrolling during the pandemic), as well as the positive (think of sharing good news and getting lots of support). What’s important is that individuals are able to determine (with or without familial or other support as appropriate) when social media use is feeling negative or getting in the way of other things, and that they have some coping strategies (e.g., taking breaks from apps, setting new goals to try to sleep better, etc) to set things back on course. 

You can find additional resources specifically for teens, in the Teen section of our Question and Answer Portal.

Age: 14-24 

Topics: Problematic Technology Use, Appropriate Social Media Use for a Teen or Young Adult, How to know if there is a problem 

Role: Clinician